Just you wait…

When I was pregnant I felt silenced when receiving advice because I had no hands on experience in being a mom. Hello world! I am now a mom! And, I am an expert because I have been doing it for nine months and my family is thriving! Oh how I wish I could stamp a big read fat “told you so” on the foreheads of every person who made me mad giving me bad advice when I was pregnant or horrifying me about the pains of labor (side note: labor is painful but it is not horrifying). I think I am going to proceed with a message that is a tad suppressed in terms of emotional content. I don’t want to be spiteful so I will take a deep breath and forgive those who probably unknowingly and unintentionally made me feel badly with what they had said. …. And done!  

“Just you wait until that baby comes, you won’t get any sleep for months!” That is not a very encouraging thing to say to a newly pregnant first time mother who is both excited and nervous about meeting her baby. I was told this over and over by family members, friends, and even strangers who I would meet I grocery stores. I wish that more people would have told me, “Just you wait, when that baby is in your arms at 4am, she will go back to sleep but your heart will be filled up with so much love that you won’t want to put her down.” When I shared with many that I was planning to breastfeed I was told, “A lot of women cannot breast feed, you better have formula in the house in case you can’t either.” I wish that more people would have said, “Breastfeeding is what you are made to do. It uncommon not to be able to physically breastfeed… but it isn’t always easy, so if you need anything, just ask.” When I shared with some, my plans to use cloth diapers I was received with laughter and told, “Once that baby comes you won’t be doing that!”  I was really excited when I found these cute cloth diapers online and it was really sad to have that feedback from so many people who I tried to share my excitement with. I wish someone would have told me “You’ll get excited to pick out your daughters next diaper and changing her is no more or less pleasant than if you were using paper.” When my daughter was a tiny little baby we wore her in a sling for the majority of the day because she was usually fussy. We were told, “She’ll be a spoiled baby if you wear her too much” or “She won’t develop properly or as quickly if she’s in that sling a lot.” I wish I could have known then, that at nine months, Audrey would be much more interested in playing and crawling than being held tight to me in the sling. We co-sleep with our daughter although she is part time in a crib. We are continually told that this is forming bad sleep habits and she’ll be much too dependent on us when she is older if we keep it up. We have never let her cry it out. We are often told that we should.  I wish that someone would have told me, “Co-sleeping and bed sharing makes breastfeeding easy. Don’t feel bad about it if that’s what works for you, it’s the norm in many countries. Every day that she gets older her night waking will get less frequent and she may be in her own bed someday if that’s what you all want .”  We told very few people about doing elimination communication with Audrey which we started just before she was two months old. We were given no advice on the matter, we were simply laughed at. I wish someone would have said “It’s a lot of fun and you’ll have hello kitty stickers on all of your toilettes which is fabulous!”

More recently the “just you waits” I’ve received have been regarding breastfeeding Audrey when she gets teeth (she has two teeth right now and my nipples are still attached for whoever is wondering). Just wait until she is crawling (she will get into things), just wait until she is walking (she will get into more things), just wait until she can say no(because that is supposed to be annoying). I look forward to her achievements in life and as she grows I enjoy adapting to her needs.  My husband and I are happily cloth diapering, nursing (I do that), EC’ing, Co-sleeping, baby-wearing, and generally just gently parenting, the “just you waits” have been slowly morphing into people telling us that we won’t be doing any of these things with our hypothetical second child. It makes my heart sad to receive such thoughtless discouragement.

  So, you are expecting? Whether you plan to use cloth or paper, breast or bottle, baby wear or push a stroller, co-sleep, bed share or crib sleep, use cry it out or practice attached parenting…. My advice to you:  Just you wait; you’ll likely receive discouraging advice from someone. Don’t listen. Do what feels right and embrace parenting for the amazing and unique journey that it is. It’s a lot of fun and not nearly as awful as some people may tell you.
Much love,
Audrey’s Mommy

I'M NAAAAAAAAAAAKED!

My hair that is ;-)   It's been since October 2009 that I've colored my hair and it's finally the color that it is supposed to be! I think colored hair looks fantastic on a lot of men and women.. I've just been feeling very disconnected from myself in terms of how I look the past few years because of my colored hair (which by the way had not been my natural color since I was eleven), painted nails and the occasional tans. The point is that I was feeling like I was trying to look like someone I wasn't and there was nothing wrong with myself in the first place. Now, my hair is naked, my nails are naked and my skin has not seen artificial sunlight since 2009! And you know what? I'm feeling more beautiful and confident with my appearance than I ever have before!!

I haven’t yet let go of my make up entirely but that is next! or at least perhaps i can tone it down.... I’m slowly becoming human again and I love it!

Nothing wrong with fast food....

       but there is something seriously wrong with restaurants that serve up artery clogging foods that really have no nutritional value! What is worse is our conscious and frequent choices of eating this stuff! I completely understand the need and demand for fast meals on the go for families and individuals with jam packed lives (I've fallen weakness to the occasional McDonalds meals...), however, I feel like everyone needs at least a little bit of breathing room… If you are able to have some breathing room cooking in advance and freezing portion sized meals is the perfect solution to avoiding fast food restaurants altogether! My goal for this year is to keep my stock pile up so I'm well prepared to face any potential lazy cooking nights :-)

           Although I usually have plenty of time to cook there are nights where I am very busy and don’t have the time to make anything decently healthy. This week I’ve battled the need for fast food and pre-packaged meals by making a batch of mini quiches in wonton wrappers so I don’t have to cook up breakfast for myself when running out the door at 6:50 to babysit.

I cooked them fully so that they only have to be taken out of the freezer and nuked until warm. I only made 22 this time but because they turned out so nicely i plan on making about 100 in my next batch. These wontons have shallots, spinach and mushrooms. I put my filling in and then top it up with an egg cream mixture flavored with pepper, salt, parsley and a bit of paprika. I put just a few pieces of grated mozza on top.  I usually have these with a yogurt and granola and a piece of fruit. It makes for a whole breakfast with very little preparation time in the morning which is perfect for me at 6:00am or earlier!

I also made some mini meatloaf’s... also made in a muffin tins... I froze them on a tray and then bagged them for the freezer. We usually have them with frozen potato balls that I make from left over mashed potatoes... rolled in milk and then rolled in herb bread crumbs. I just pop both in the oven at 350 for an hour and heat up some veggies. It is the most effortless meal in the world and i make them in such large batches that we have it about once a week for a few months before replenishing our stash! Currently looking for more ways to use my muffin tins ;-)             

mmmmmm

I find winter can make my food selection quite boring. I find myself making way too many chicken or roast dinners and homemade soups. Not that I don't love my winter food choices...i just feel like the selection is bleak compared to what we would normally choose to make in the warmer months. This week I purchased avocados, asparagus, star fruit, steaks, and lots of summery fruits to make smoothies to temporarily beat my winter cooking blues!

I very much missed my Guacamole. Now I need to find some new things to do with avocados!

In stitches

The most memorable gift I received for Christmas was from the grandmother of a friend of mine here in Newfoundland. Her family is from PEI and was visiting her for Christmas and her grammy had given each family member a homemade pair of knit mittens. I had gotten to know her family quite well by spending Christmas day with them. A few weeks after they had gone home a package came in the mail to my friend from her Grammy which included a pair of mittens for me! Not only were they beautiful I couldn’t believe that someone who is not even my own family had taken the time to make me such a nice gift. She knew that I was a beginner knitter and sent the pattern along with the mittens. Although that was over one year ago I have finally finished my first "grammy joyce" Mitten!!!!! 

Oh the Joys of pregnancy!

 I am thrilled to be starting our family! Being pregnant although accompanied by a whole bunch of terrible symptoms and sickness is so much fun.  I am not afraid of nausea, heart burn, back ache, fatigue or the stretching and ripping that is going on in my belly. Quite frankly, it isn’t really as bad as it sounds and I’ve had most of those symptom’s on a fairly intense level. It really isn’t anything unmanageable or anything to fear. I am, however, as most first time mothers to be are, afraid of labor and delivery. I have no idea what to expect. I suppose the fact that is most comforting is that millions of people, women, have done this for thousands of years and many women have many children. If the pain wasn’t manageable why would they keep doing it ( Especially today, when birth control is so readily available!?) So I let that fact bring some comfort to my fears…

It really confuses and upsets me that so many mothers out there enjoy sharing horrifying birth jokes with first time expectant mothers. So many people make comments to me comparing birth to a basketball coming out of a straw or some other sort of foolishness. Personally I find these comments rude and offensive. It upsets me that some women make a mockery of such a natural process and enjoy instilling fear into others unnecessarily. I am not foolish and I comprehend that delivery is not a walk in the park and I welcome others to share their personal birth experiences with me. More times then not, when a mother is sincerely recalling delivery and labor she most often says that was not horrifying at all and much less painful than she expected it to be.

Because of these mean encounters I have with women who think they are being funny when they offer a “comical” comparison to labor, I sometimes wish I hadn’t shared my news of becoming pregnant with so many people…. although I suppose it would be nearly impossible in the 6^th month to hide my pregnany! This makes me hope that never in my life will ever find pleasure in purposefully scaring another human being. And if ever someone is reading this that remembers personally offering me one of these jokes, don’t be upset at me writing this. I likely won’t remember who said what as these jokes happen quite often! I also wouldn’t ever hold a grudge for something so trivial.

And that is my venting for tonight…

A Mounties Wife

My husband’s career brought us to Newfoundland. It’s a strange place, really; it is good and bad. The landscape is magnificent, jagged, barren and angry; the people are generally very kind.  I like it here. If I could choose where to build my life of course I would choose my hometown in New Brunswick but Newfoundland has become home to me… at least until our next posting!

Even though we’ve only been here less than two years, life in Newfoundland has completely changed the way I embrace life. My priorities are completely different and I have a new found respect for the simplest things. I don’t come from a very big town but we had everything a city would offer. We had within a 20 minutes radius, movie theaters, decent shopping, bowling allies, bars, mini putting greens and golf courses, gyms, indoor skating rinks, outdoor recreational facilities, a wide variety of restaurants and so many other things to do! I easily filled the moments I had freed of school and work with activities; it was easy to be kept very busy. Life in my old community, and this might be an age thing as well, made me feel like if I wasn’t doing something structured outside of the home that generally costed money, I wasn’t having fun! Even though I enjoyed spending the quiet night at home with my husband (who would have been my boyfriend at the time) nights and days filled with these structured activities were desired more than those quiet nights! Life just had to be so busy in order for me to feel like I was living life to its fullest…it was perfect because the grocery stores catered to my busy scedule with their endless supplies of precooked meals. Life seemed great when it was jammed packed with what I thought was fun!.... Then I moved to rural Newfoundland.

The first time I went grocery shopping in Carbonear, where we lived when we first moved here, I was appalled at the quality of food at the grocery store! They had (and still have) a rack filled with rotting food that is nearly free for the taking because it is marked down so low. I understand having a produce clearance rack but this food was different than the produce clearance items that you’re thinking of. Nothing on this rack would have been edible unless maybe you were making banana muffins or jam out of the black bananas or liquid strawberries…. Anyways, it was shocking to me. Carbonear isn’t a huge town and by peaking in others carts I’ve realized the people here don’t generally eat very healthy. Not a lot of people spend a whole lot of time in the produce section and if they do they are usually getting turnips carrot and potatoes. I once had a pineapple in my cart, as I do most weeks, and a boy started screaming at his mom something about Sponge Bob Square Pants and my pineapple. Anyways, so the food selection sucks in Carbonear because there is really no demand for healthy food. Our stores don’t even have a health food section. Maybe this explains why all the produce is so rotted! All of the restaurants here are fast food or family owned businesses that serve Canadian Chinese food or just have a selection of foods that are mostly deep fried. There is one theater that has one movie playing each night it is open which is kind of fun! But other than that, there really isn’t much to do in our town. I suppose there is a pool… but I’ve been to the pool and it is usually freezing… and I’m afraid of pee lol. Okay fine, there also is riding horses… they are half dead and I don’t think they can even trot but they might make for a pretty fun trail ride! Anyways, for fun in the summer months my husband and I would usually go hiking and sightseeing but you can only do so much of that. Anyways, getting to the point, very quickly my husband and I started going into “Town” which is St John’s city just over an hour from Carbonear, to grocery shop and to find things to do. We certainly found entertainment there and we also found out how quickly our money flowed from our pockets.

When we decided that we needed to save money for our upcoming wedding I realized how fun it can be not doing all of those money costing organized activities that I used to fill my life with and that Carbonear is deprived of. As soon as we started not going to St John’s for dinner and cooking more gourmet meals at home, I realized how much fun cooking can be. Instead of going to the movies in ST John’s with our friends, we started having game nights and had way more fun! We have girls nights every Friday and we have yet to leave our homes because we don’t go to the bars, we do so much more! I never realized that by going to a movie or a bar with friends I wasn’t really interacting with them. We were just there together watching the same thing, or dancing to the same music. By reducing the amount that we go out and engage in costly organized activities, I’ve become closer to my friends and learned to live more simply! Life is so much better for me lived more simply. I feel like I have room to breathe and enjoy simple things like cooking, knitting and reading much more than I would have when I didn’t have the time to do it!